Movies

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (f. Dwayne Johnson & Kevin Hart) Is The Perfect Holiday Movie

December 23, 2017

Friday, December 22

Mood af. Tonight, I literally got back to the Bay and totally forgot slash didn’t realize Christmas was in 2 days :(. I fail at life lmao. I have so many fucking people I care about that I want to shower with love and gifts but can’t. Devastated.

This also happened today. If you were on socials at all, you would have seen this crazy Space X rocket fly through the skies of Los Angeles. So many people were saying God ejaculated and I died lmao. My friends are funny af.

The best part about this movie is how accurate it is to our generation, as evidenced by this post alone. Nowadays, everything is about a damn scroll. Whether it’s IG, Twitter, FB… even Apple Music, our attention span is like .5 seconds. And I’m not throwing shade because I fall victim to it every single day. Shit, even in the movie. ANYWAYS. Tonight was the traditional trip to the movies with the broskee. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle featuring The Rock (Dwayne Johnson), Kevin Hart, and Jack Black? Count us in.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge movie guru. I was a proud member of the Moviepass two years ago, and no one believed in me. Now, it’s finally taking off and I’m in shock lmao. First off, it’s $10 a month vs. the $45 I was paying. Unreal. We hit the 12:01am showing at Century Cinemas 16 at Shoreline in Mountain View, aka reclining seats heaven. I dream about these cushioned leather seats while I’m in LA. Also, the fact that there was a movie time past 11pm was a game changer. I literally laid down at 9:30pm for what I thought would be a quick second, only to wake up 2.5 hours later. I had to literally convince my bro to go too. It was late af.

We pull up to the movie theater and of course, I had to finesse the student ticket price lmao. It was 3 dollars cheaper. But also, the theater was dead. I’ve never seen the theater this quiet. Come to find out, everyone was just inside lmao. It was packed to the brim. Honestly, what really pushed me to see this also was my friends raving about how fire it was. Although Rotten Tomatoes is extremely trustworthy (it got 77%), the cosign from a friend is usually the dealbreaker. I forgot who it was this time, and honestly, it may have been Twitter.

To sum up the entire 2 hours of the film, IMDB plot: “Four teenagers discover an old video game console and are literally drawn into the game’s jungle setting, becoming the adult avatars they choose.” Not sure if that brought down the rating but it did for us. Even going into the film, we were saying how this is a very 1.5 hour-type movie. It’s a remake of the original 1995 Jumanji, which starred Robin Williams. RIP :(.

The original movie had a similar plot: “When two kids find and play a magical board game, they release a man trapped for decades in it and a host of dangers that can only be stopped by finishing the game.” This had a modern twist, utilizing the glory of social media and smartphones. This made the film more relatable and entertaining. Honestly, I have no bad things to say about the movie. It was pure entertainment, especially with the all-star cast.

Eyebrows up. Promoting #JUMANJI and ran into this G @g_eazy. So the fucked up backstory here is one of my team members came into my dressing room and said “hey is it cool if a rapper wants to meet you”… I said of course and I step out without even asking who I was meeting. Shake hands with G and his people, have some small talk about his new album #TheBeautifulAndTheDamned and my movie, take some pics and then we’re out. Get back to my dressing room, think to myself “Why does this dude sound so familiar” and then realize “Fuck I workout to this man’s music all the time!” Wish I had the chance to tell him. Appreciate your music man and thanks for keeping my workout sessions not only hard core but striking a chord to deeper layers. For the record, I’m notorious for not realizing the celebrities I’m talking to…. once had a 15minute conversation with a dude who I swore was the lead singer in an R&B funk band only to be told the next day it was Barry Bonds 🤷🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️😂.

A post shared by therock (@therock) on

And shout out to Dwayne Johnson getting honored with a Hollywood Walk of Fame Star. My bro and I grew up watching him on WWF/WWE. He deserves this 10000000%. Random, but I remember they were promoting this movie back in October. There was an entire event for it at Comic Con in LA. Also landed upon this post with G-Eazy. How fucking cute is this lmao.

4 takeaways from Jumanji:

  1. The Rock’s bicep is not real.
  2. Kevin Hart is still funny af.
  3. Nick Jonas is fine.
  4. Go see this.

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