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Moniece Slaughter Opens Up About Mental Health & Her Time On ‘Love & Hip Hop’

April 5, 2024

Read the full interview on SheenMagazine.com!

Moniece Slaughter is far more than a reality television star.

Born and raised in Los Angeles to a musical family, Moniece is a singer, songwriter, actress, mother, entrepreneur, author, online personality… the list goes on.

And while she’s best known for being one of the main cast members on Love & Hip Hop, the 37-year-old has publicly voiced her struggles on the show, particularly when it comes to her mental health. Soon, she’d pen her own book called Mayhem: A Mental Health Memoir, detailing her journey as she entered the limelight.

One thing about Moniece, she will not hold her tongue! And that’s what fans love about her the most. She’s unapologetically herself, with a standout personality that’s captivated audiences all around the world.

On the 62nd episode of Shirley’s Temple, I sat with Moniece Slaughter to discuss her book, singing the theme song to America’s Next Top Model, getting severely depressed leaving Love & Hip Hop, her journey with therapy & meds, what she wants in a man, Megan Thee Stallion’s lyric on Megan’s Law & more!

I am so excited to have you on my show!

Before you start, I brought something for you. I brought you a copy of my book, shameless plug. My book is now available.

Mayhem: A Mental Health Memoir. It’s perfect because Shirley’s Temple has a focus on mental health. The photo is beautiful, it’s giving mermaid.

Fun fact: I own that photo. I paid for that photoshoot in 2016. My publisher is a lazy bitch and didn’t want to do a new photoshoot. She needs to run me a licensing fee for every copy fucking sold.

I’ve always wanted to write my own book.

Don’t do it. I take it back, I wouldn’t say don’t write a book. Really have a great ghostwriter. I ended up having to write the book myself. Now here’s my problem, I did not get a first manuscript or a second manuscript. I literally with my fans on Instagram Live one night, opened the book and randomly went to whatever chapter. The chapter titles are thoughtless. I don’t know who took my rough draft and decided we’re just going to take her rough draft.

Chapter 15 is called Season 4.

See what I’m saying? That’s terrible! Then they had the nerve to take my innermost personal thoughts where I called my ex a hood critter, and they called him a hood critter in the book. What the fuck? I randomly opened it one night on Live with my fans because I finally got the hardbacks. I happened to land there at the hood critter part, oh my God. I was afraid to read anymore because I’m scared. I saw chapter titles like Season 4. But pick up the book anyway, because clearly I’m a walking one woman comedy show.

Where’d you go to school and what’d you study? Because you’re pretty well-educated.

School is for fools, look at me. I didn’t go past high school, but I did graduate from El Camino Real in the Valley. 27 AP courses, the most out of any public school.

You did…?

No, they offered. I didn’t have that type of mental fortitude or capacity, but I did take advanced placement. I did take honors courses. I did graduate with a pretty decent GPA. Perfect attendance. I was definitely a little square. I was blessed to have grown up in a family full of extremely intelligent people. I had an advantage because they didn’t talk to us in baby talk. We were walking early, we were talking early. We were spoken to with the proper grammar, syntax, vernacular, diction.

I was reading, from what my dad says, fluently by the age of 4. I’ve seen the old family videos, and I’ve seen the pictures of him. I remember when Hooked on Phonics came out, it was a big thing. My dad taught me how to read. He and my mom did this library thing, we got to go to the library every week. There’s tons of doctors, therapists in my family.

You grew up around a lot of guys too. 

Lots of guys, one of the few girls. They were body slamming me by the time I was 6. It’s probably why I’m so secretly buff now. Don’t try it gals. I grew up in a family of predominantly boys, pretty rough. My mom’s a tomboy, so I’m glad I’m a boy mom. Because we wrestle. His quick wit, couldn’t deny him if I wanted to. Plus, he’s recently morphed into my whole twin. Stole my whole face. Look at little me, you can’t really be mad. But still go to your room.

 

You tweeted: “To the ‘vocalists,’ who have to lip sync & use live plugins such as autotune, because your claim to fame was lazy vocals, that were coined by the public, as a, ‘vibe…’ you can’t sing. That is all!”

I saw a clip of SZA on the internet and I was shocked because people were in the comments like “I saw her live, she doesn’t sound good at all.” They drug me through the mud in the beginning of her career for saying she’s not a vocalist. She talked about her social anxiety, just say, “I prefer to be in the studio.” Your team and your label should know that. “I prefer to be in the studio versus being live. I don’t like it and we need to figure out how to make that work for me.” Everyone’s a lazy fucking vocalist, I’m sorry.

Are you on TikTok?

I am, to stalk my son.

How old is he?

Don’t talk to me about it. He just turned 14 in January and I’m devastated. I keep trying to get him to tell me if he has a girlfriend and he gets mad at me.

He’s not asking you to do TikTok dances with him? He could get a little clout off mom.

No. Listen, I will do whatever he wants me to do. The thing is, I’ve taken my dad’s embarrassment tactic and I’ve applied it. I hear him listening to all the stupid music with the dumb curse words and rap lyrics. Everything’s like “pussy pussy, hoe bitch. Drugs,” this and that. When he’s on Fortnite, I come in the room and I’m rapping off beat. “Suck that dick bitch. Fuck that pussy, this a hoe.” He’s ripping the cord out of the PlayStation so they can’t hear me.

What’s the problem? This is the music. If you guys can listen to it and rap it, how come I can’t? I told my dad, he’s like, “That’s good, you’ve learned your embarrassment tactics. Way to go.” So now I make cursing not cool. He’s starting to do things like, “Mom stop, because you’re a public person. If my friends’ parents see this, they’re not gonna let my friends come over.” Oh really? Do you think they would let your friends come over if they knew that’s how you guys were talking to each other. No? So it’s not cool. You might want to think twice before I stop letting you go other places, because who the fuck taught you this shit? Because now I’m cussing left and right. Who taught you this shit? This is ass. He’s like “look at you cussing.” Yeah that’s what we do. We cuss.

Have you ever heard something he was listening to, like that shit’s fire?

No, never. NBA YoungBoy’s always yelling at me. DaBaby’s always punching on me. I don’t know. I feel like DaBaby socked me. NBA YoungBoy’s standing over me, screaming at me. There’s too much going on. It’s sensory overload. There’s the YouTubers…

It’s so dope that you wrote the theme song to America’s Next Top Model.

I didn’t write it.

Sang. My bad.

Let’s clarify. We don’t need nobody coming out the woodwork calling me a liar. My dad got me that gig right out of high school. That was my first lesson in residual income.

How much have you made off the song?

I just got my residuals for first quarter, and it was only a couple grand.

Still though, you did that song…?

18 years ago. I’m 36, I’m about to be 37. Every quarter, the amounts are different. This is on the lower end, but I do pay bills with it. Shout out to my dad.

Him being a 10x Grammy award winner, did that put the fire in you to also want to…?

No, I didn’t even know I could sing.

When did you start singing?

I was 16. My dad was producing my cousin’s album, he came to me like, “You think you could do the backgrounds?” I said I don’t know.

First of all, it took him 16 years to ask you?

I was never interested in and he never pushed that. I was a gymnast. He came to me like, “Let me hear you get this note?” And I hit it. He’s like “Let me hear you do this one. This is crazy. But want to let you know, live singing and studio singing are two different things. You’re going to have your headphones on. You’re going to hear a lot of different high frequency, low frequency. You’re going to hear the backgrounds, you’re going to hear instruments, you’re going to hear the lead vocal. You’re gonna hear your ad libs, but I’ll walk you through it.”

It was really easy for me. He said “This is crazy. I think we could make you something, if you want to do it.” From there, I was in a couple of girl groups, but all my group members were fast. They were fucking and all kinds of shit. One girl got pregnant, we got shelved. She disappeared, then she came back. This too much. Plus, I wasn’t girly. I was very much a late bloomer, in every way. I didn’t like girly clothes. I’d show up to rehearsal in my swishy sweats. My braids.

That was the vibe, especially for girl groups back then.

Mmhmm, but not them. They had titties already, periods and shit I didn’t know about. They were kissing, fucking. They were also homeschooled. My parents were like, “Yeah the fuck right. Get up, go to school.” So I stayed in school.

What happened after the girl group?

I did a bunch of solo stuff, then I strayed away from the foundation. Thought I knew it. Thought my dad’s way was old school. It’s taking too long to get me a deal. Why this and why that? But now I regret it. I look at the state of music today and know for a fact I could’ve been one of the greatest had I followed the instruction. And it’s never too late. Now, I don’t feel like competing with these young girls.

They have their titties out with their nipple pasties on. I don’t understand what they’re talking about. They’re all talking about fucking a n*gga and taking his money. Is this all there is, about how good your vagina is? Girl, we don’t know that. You could be lying to us. You could have a fucking black hole, a galaxy between your legs and we’d never know.

What girl do you like right now that’s out? Because I know you like girls.

What girl would I fuck? Tyla, the South African. First of all, she’s from South Africa. Second of all, she’s drop dead gorgeous. Third, she can sing. She is very funny. I watched the clip of her interview with Jason Lee last night on the red carpet at the Grammys. She’s really witty and her body is so cute. I would definitely…[giggles]. She’s super cute, and she’s talented.

Talk about your journey with mediations for your depression.

So I liked Seroquel because I was grossly underweight. See a lot of people don’t realize a lot of antidepressants are SSRIs. SSRIs are an antipsychotic. But when used in extremely low dosages, like Sereoquel goes up to 1000mg per pill.

A higher dose treats schizophrenia. 

Right, so a lower dose will help with depression.

Depression and insomnia. 

And insomnia, and it also makes you hungry. I was 98 pounds. When I left the show, I was so depressed I was 98 pounds. I never got more than 103, then I went through the breakup with my ex-cunt. Stupid bitch. Pardon me, I had a moment. I fluctuated between 103 and 105 during that time.

You weren’t hungry?
I wasn’t hungry. I was up all day, days at a time. I was depressed. I was on Seroquel for 5 years, then the pandemic actually brought me back to myself. God didn’t just slow the world down, he stopped it at the perfect time. That was exactly what I needed. Anyway Seroquel. Seroquel was great for me until it wasn’t great. I don’t feel anything and I didn’t want to keep climbing in dosage. Went to Lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer, to help with the depression instead, and Trazadone for sleep.

So it was a pairing thing?

It was a pairing thing.

You sound like you have a good psychiatrist.

He’s great. But he also has to talk to my trauma therapist, they work in tandem.

When did you start going to therapy?

My mother put me in therapy for the first time, I was in fifth grade.

You’ve been going to therapy, or did you stop?

Obviously that young, I don’t stop going to therapy. Your parents stop taking you, just want to throw that out there. After high school, I was going, then I stopped.  I got on the show. There was a really long period of time before I got on the show where I felt fine. When I got on the show, Lies & Flip Flop for those that don’t know, they stressed me out so damn bad that I started to slowly unravel. I don’t even remember my life in years anymore. I remember them in seasons. Ironically Season 4 was okay, this is getting bad. I started back in my therapy and psychiatry and meds.

I’ve had a lot of reality stars on Shirley’s Temple. Amina Buddafly said she got 20K followers overnight after that episode aired. You’re an introvert and an empath, how was it gaining fame so quickly? 

It was weird, because I’m not a people person. Back up, don’t run down on me. I don’t know you. I don’t like people in my personal space anyway. My mother used to tease me and say I was autistic because I don’t like physical affection.

Until you met your ex.

Yeah, until I met Cam’s dad. Everyone was like, “Who is this?” It was weird because I really thought it’d take a whole season before people recognized us while we’re out and about. It was immediately after episode one. After episode one, I had over 300K followers.

Where did you start?

Like 12K. It was a lot. My phone kept glitching, battery kept dying. Before I could even answer it, notifications were coming in.

How old were you? 

I’m about to be 37. I got on the show in 2014, so 25 going on 26. My birthday’s in March.

Reality shows have been found to exacerbate body anxiety, increase physical aggression, and mess with our expectations for romantic relationships. How did doing reality television affect your mental health? 

It was trash. It slowly throughout the season started to deteriorate. It was more so what I was having to deal with at work. Imagine you don’t get to drive yourself to work everyday, so therefore you don’t know where you’re going. Imagine wondering what ambush you’re walking into today. Imagine when you arrive, your cell phone is taken.

There’s no script, it’s not scripted. But hey, you’re going to sit down with so-and-so today. You’re going to have a visitor, okay well that’s the ambush. They went and did xyz yesterday, so they’re going to update you. But you’re going to update them on where you were yesterday. But don’t talk about this, this, this, this and this that you talked about yesterday in your scene, because we’re probably not going to use it. Just stick to these, they call them beats. Here are the topics of the conversation that you had yesterday that you can discuss, then someone’s going to pop in.

Then they stopped telling us when we were walking into an ambush. Now imagine having to walk in and count cameras, count security guards. Look at how long the table is. Are there sandbags weighting the table down? Why am I on this end of the table? Why is this camera pointed…? Okay, so there’s going to be a walk up. If there’s two of us there and I see 4 cameras, one more person is on their way in. If there’s two of us and I see 6 cameras, there’s two or 3 more people coming in. There’s 3 cameras set to two people. If I see 4 and 5 cameras, I know to expect one to two more people.

If I see sandbags weighing the table, if I know I’m walking in by myself and they say, “you’re going to have a visitor.” Clearly, I’m going to be enraged in this scene. I’ve thrown everything known to man from picked up whole tables, chairs, you fucking name it. I started running down on bitches off camera. Ask them how that went. It got to the point where alright, so y’all are setting me up for the Okey Doke. It’s cool, now I know what the fuck it is. Let me get this shit over with.

My mental health was ass. By the end of it, I was done. I was drained. Afraid for the financial future, but ready to take that leap of faith. Lord, I’m waiting for my money shower.

That was why you left?

Yeah, it was too much. They didn’t care. The last season, they ended up partnering with halfofme.com or some mental health foundation. I don’t fucking know. At the end of all my episodes, they gave the suicide speech. If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the We’ll Save Your Life hotline. This was the perfect time where if you really did give a fuck, put me in spaces where I can advocate somewhere. Set me up after I’ve given you so much of my life and you didn’t give a fuck. You could’ve at least set me up in another space because y’all were already blackballing me in the reality TV space with other networks. If you didn’t want me in this space, why wouldn’t you aid and abet me in thriving over there. Which is something you really don’t give a damn about. Shame on them.

Do you like anal?

They don’t call me the 3-hole goat for nothing. But you can’t go from the front to the back, and the back back to the front. Once I’m done here, then we can move back there. But once you get back there, you have to stay back there.

What precautions do you take to clean the area?

You take a shower. [laughs] See the thing is, there’s nobody just battle ramming my anus. It’s not what’s going on here. I want to be very specific. It is selective, relationship based only.

What if you are with the girl and you want anal?

No. See, the thing about me is when I’m with a woman, which is why I only date studs, I don’t allow penetration. If you need a strap, I’m not the femme for you.

Damn, y’all really get off without penetration?

Yeah. Because for me, if I wanted to be penetrated, I’d be with a man. And I don’t date femmes because it’s too girly for me.

They be bad though!

They’re fun to fuck, but they’re not fun to date for me. It’s too much. It’s already hard enough being black, one. Let alone being a black woman in the industry, two. Let alone being a black woman dating another femme. Because it’s a fetish. People don’t respect it. Men especially will try you when they see two girly girls because they think it’s for play. That’s a fetish of theirs to have two pretty bitches, so they don’t take femme on femme dating relationships seriously.

When did you know you were bisexual?

When I was in elementary school. I was raised Seventh Day Adventist. You can’t go home and say, “Hey, I think I like girls.” So I didn’t come out until I was 30, but my parents knew.

Would you rather date rappers or athletes? 

Neither. Give me a project n*gga. I need a n*gga that’s going to blow n*gga back for me.

How do they reach you though?

I’m in the projects. I’m serious. I want a gangbanger.

Are you single right now?

Very single. I want a reformed good n*gga though. He’s laundering his money. He needs to be low key. He don’t need to be outside. He’s confident. I can still have my titties out, and post on Instagram because he knows that I’m only fucking and sucking him dry. So he don’t really give a shit.

I love when they don’t have Instagram, that’s even better.

My ex-husband didn’t have Instagram. He was still a — let me be quiet. We only got to have sex half the time. He said I broke his dick. I was so stupid. It’s so stupid. I married a 46-year-old prude. It was terrible.

You recently went off on IG Live, I love you going off on IG Live. 

I don’t like me going off. I look back and go damn, I wish I had been quiet and exercised a little more self-control.

I think it’s necessary because it’s actually viewpoints that people relate to. Megan’s Law…

I stand 10 toes down on what the fuck I said. I was thinking about the 7-year-old Megan, the real victim. I was thinking about her family. Imagine no one ever bringing awareness really to her foundation, or her law. That little girl was 7 years old, she was raped and strangled by her neighbor who was already a sex offender. He had raped a 5-year-old and he moved to their neighborhood. Megan’s Law was how the legislation was passed so that sex offenders have to register now. That’s what Megan’s Law is.

Imagine waking up decades later one day minding your little redneck business because your dad is a racist. I went on his Facebook page, I was very disappointed in you Mr. Kanka. A raging Republican. If I had to say it was any political party, definitely a Republican, but he was going a little too hard. Sidebar: imagine living your little racist life, and here comes this black Amazonian woman. She has used your daughter’s legacy and law and legislation to throw a slug at another woman, whose husband is alleged to have been a sex offender.

Did you think about the victim? Did you think about her family? Did you think about how that might trigger them? The rapist was initially sentenced to death. Death row was abolished in the state of New Jersey, so his sentence was commuted to life without parole. He’s still alive, I don’t think he died in prison yet. But having to know he got to live and your 7-year-old didn’t, no one considered that.

Everybody needs to stop talking about the deceased, period. Them spirits ain’t nothing to play with, #1. I really agree with what Kevin Gates said: everybody needs to stop playing with the dead. Because when you see that happen in real life, where you take a life, that shit sticks with you and it forever changes you. I’ve seen it a couple of times where man, shit. And it’s weird because death still scares me too.

You lost over 8 people in 2 years. You went to grief counseling, what do they teach you? 

First, it was really unpacking why I can’t seem to get past it. A lot of guilt, and a lot of those relationships that were close friends or family. Me carrying a lot of guilt: not answering the last phone calls, not responding. Because I was so wrapped up in my own life, my own work, my own depression that even receiving the love that my people were trying to give to me, I took for granted thinking I have tomorrow. Not realizing tomorrow might not ever come for any one of us.

I had never experienced a close loss. I’ve been in the wrong place at the wrong time and seen it, but I had never had to feel it. Live it, sit with it, sit in it and cope with it, or get over it. A lot of realizations. They’re not coming back, nothing you could’ve done. Especially given my spiritual base and foundation, me accepting the fact that there’s nothing I could’ve done that would have changed it, stopped it. It was always written.

Realizing that the idea that time heals all wounds is a lie, it doesn’t. You learn to cope with this new reality, and every day you learn how to live without your people. Also coming to grips with the fact that I have to forgive myself. They’re not here. I can’t get that validation from them or from anybody else, so I have to go somewhere deep. In order to forgive myself, I have to unpack some of my own trauma. It’s very painful, but definitely worth it for sure.

Can you give us your take on the Tory/Meg situation?

No. I’ve given my take and I’ve received death threats for that too. I can’t do what the rest of the world does. Everyone else can have an opinion, just not me. Free Tory. Free Tory Lanez, that’s all I gotta say about that.

Photo Credit: Courtesy of Shirley’s Temple

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